Death and Heaven

I (Erin) grew up with a dad who spoke of death often.  We were reassured that if something ever happened to him, that we should not be sad.  He was going to the place he longed for the most.  He would rather be with Jesus in heaven, than anywhere else on earth.  His dad (Granddaddy Hilley) had a near-death experience at a young age (early 40's), and told Non, my dad, and Faith that if he was presented the chance again, that he wouldn't be coming back to earth.  When he dropped dead of a heart attack at age 47, everyone knew he was where he wanted to be.  Nonny even went through a period of time where she was angry with him for leaving her here with "life" to do on her own.  Later, she realized and admitted that Granddaddy's death resulted in an intimate relationship with Jesus that she may never have had if he had lived.  Because of all of this, my dad doesn't fear death.  Instead, he looks at it peacefully and eagerly.  Not with a death wish, but a longing for home.  He raised me to think and talk about death in a similar way...and I guess I am now passing that along to my children.  

 Eve is mesmerized by death and heaven.  Below are a few of our conversations about the topic.  

1)  I was about to wake the little kids up from their naps, and wanted to spend a few quiet minutes with Eve before the chaos got out of bed.  I walked into the playroom and sat down on a big, comfy chair and asked Eve to come sit in my lap.  She was eager to tell me what she had been doing.  

Eve - "You see that chair over there?" She pointed to the window where she had placed a small folding chair. 

Me - "Yes."

Eve - "Well, before you came in here, I was sitting in that chair looking up in the sky and talking to God.  I told him that if he was ready for me to go to heaven, then I was ready to go."

I was filled with so many emotions.  Shock, worry, joy, and peace ... all wrapped up into one. 

2)  I was holding baby Titus (about 3 weeks old) at the beach house one afternoon.  All of the kids came up talking and cooing at him.  Eve approaches us and says, "Mom, did you know that I will probably be dead by the time Baby Titus is 10?"

3)  On the way to church one morning, Eve announces that she will be the first one of our 4 kids to "die and go to heaven".  She went on to mention that the first one to be born out of my tummy was probably going to be the first one to die.  I took this time to explain that sometimes that is how God works, but sometimes it isn't.  I believe that God has assignments for all of us, and when our assignments have been completed, he allows us to leave earth and go to heaven.  

4)  On our way to the pool one afternoon, I was on the phone with my sister who was telling me about a 3 year old little boy that had died the previous night.  Her husband was called to the scene when the family called 911.  They attempted to resuscitate him multiple times, but there was nothing they could do.  I guess my response to that story had Eve intrigued, because when I hung up the phone, Eve says, "mom, why did you say 'oh my goodness' and 'that is terrible'?" I didn't want to go into the story, so i tried to brush her off by saying, "Yaya was just telling me a story about a little boy."  Eve says, "did he die?"  ... uh ... "Yes," I stutter.  Eve immediately bursts out with "Oh, well that isn't sad!  Those parents should be happy!"  "Why, Eve?"  "Because he went to heaven.  I mean, isn't going to heaven a good thing?  Why would you be sad?  The next time you hear about someone that dies, you need to say, 'oh yay!  now they get to see Jesus in heaven!'"

She is right, isn't she??  We miss them on earth, but do we really wish they would come back?  do we think they would chose to come back if they could? 

**A note to my children when mommy dies*** please don't be sad for me.  I love each of you immeasurably!  You have changed my life in so many ways, and I am so BLESSED to have been your mommy.  Use what God has given you and give it back to Him.  Whatever you do, do it unto Him.  Choose your spouse wisely.  It is so important that you have a mate that works beside you and with you, and has the same goals and dreams that you have.  I cannot wait to see you, kiss you, hug, you and listen to you again.  I love you, each one of you, with my whole heart.  Lean into Jesus, Mommy.